living this short a life is what makes me bothered, and worried and a bit annoyed. im a bit sad thinking that i have only one year for my uni and the situation hit me like a big-yellow-student-full school bus. i have dreamed of going to singapore after graduation. a dream i dont know how to start or if it will really start. or whatever. i was fortunate that i got my family behind me who has been very supportive in my entire stay in school.
on last night's show in oprah, they were talking about finances and i was shocked that i was really consumed by status that i nearly forgot that i cant afford things which i normally buy. for instance, drinking coffee everyday for 5 bucks isnt rewarding. i dont have a job. my allowance isnt enough, i dont get pay checks! like i was really driven by my friends to be this and that-a person who is not me. and i think that having to cancel night-outs or not having to smoke a whole pack of cigar really helps a lot, i mean financially. i began to realize how important it was for me to be safe all the time and how to manage my time wisely. i never really imagined that summer will have an impact so huge, like this, on me.
this will be a testament that i had once been a victim of cigarette. this will be a proof that i will change my old ways and be a better person. i will have to avoid going out and indulging in vices because i know i am not that and i dont have the resources to spend.
i guess, i will just have to end this by a quote from edie brit, desperate housewife...
"its not hard to die if you know you have lived."
